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For the past few years, I've felt ready for marriage.But one key issue recurs: When I start dating someone, I'll often see the potential much more quickly than she will. Darren Dear Darren, Your letter describes a pattern of timing differences that occurs in a number of developing relationships, and we thank you for writing to find out how you can avoid repeating it in the future.You can’t start going on dates and expect to find your happiness in these men. In order for dating after divorce to be successful and fulfilling, you first need to ensure that your inner happiness and confidence is alive and well.

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I learned to connect better by building deep friendships, and I dealt with other issues that may have been holding me back.Though you may be itching for a man to be a part of your life again, don’t rush into things.When you get back into the dating world, take things slowly, and don’t feel bad about dating at a slower pace.I'm not talking about love at first sight – what I mean is enjoying our time together and feeling that things are progressing nicely. Then after some time, when I'm ready to call it quits, she'll say, "Thanks for giving me the time I needed, I'm really into this." By then, I'm half shutting down, after having given, but not received back, for some time. In order to do that, it will help to first understand how the pattern works.It's very common for one dater to become emotionally invested sooner than the other.

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